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The Approach

One time I gave K this book called “Difficult Conversations”.  I had read it once and found it very helpful and thought she would too.

What is it about?

Well, when a subject comes up that might be emotional or controversial, it explains how you can approach the conversation without causing somebody to get defensive and therefore scuttle your intended result. Instead you create an environment where feelings can be shared without causing undue pain or suffering while still getting your point across.

You are direct but in a way where you are clear and non-threatening.

For example, it explains how you should not use words like “never” or “always” as in “You NEVER take out the trash” or “You ALWAYS buy the expensive beer”.

Instead of using words like “but”, you try and use “and”. Like, “I understand that you thought you should buy 4 dresses and a painting and let me carry them home AND I think that I’m not sure where we have room for all of this in our small backpacks.”

You see what I’m getting at?

Well certainly with this book in mind, Kelly recently shared some news with me. Let me explain how it went down…

“Diesel. I’m writing a blog post. You should read it when I’m done.”

“Uhh OK.”

“OK. I’m done. Read it”

*reads*

blah blah blah Diesel’s shoes are totally ugly blah blah blah

“What did you think?”

“My shoes are ugly?!”

“Totally”

“I asked you before I bought them if there were ugly. You said no.”

“Yea. I lied. I mean it seemed like you liked them so I said they weren’t. But they are”

“Why are you telling me this now? I have been wearing them for 6 months!”

You think this post is about that book right? Or how we handle these situations? It isn’t. It’s about shoes. And how I need some new ones to replace the ugly, waterproof ones.

I went to a few stores but they are all formal or they are made for teenagers. I don’t want to spend much money. Can you help (I’m looking at you Jen, Barb and Tarah and Lauren)? I need shoes that I can walk around a bit in Africa and then casually in Europe for a few months. I don’t think I can pull off white shoes…

I like Diesel. Are any of these good? Diesel Shoes

And the classic Samba

Samba

Samba

Can you help me?

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3 Responses

  1. I like to lump myself in the fashionista crowd even if I don’t dress so much that way much myself anymore so here’s my vote:

    I am ALWAYS for classic Sambas for guys. Always. You can’t go wrong with them. Ever. They will go well overseas and at home. They have that ever-elusive mix of cool and classic.

    Go Samba!

  2. hey tim. I’m flattered. not digging any of the Diesel shoes. I agree, you can’t go wrong with the Sambas, though I am not a huge fan of them in black. They have a new “samba modern” that looks pretty cool. I’m digging the dark brown version. Hope this helps. When are you guys heading out again? Love reading your blog. xoxo to you and kelly.

  3. Ahhh so flattered!! I love the Samba’s!! You can never go wrong there. 😉

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