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Palm Reading Session with Ketut

Ketut and the girls

Ketut and the girls

Armed with our $250,000 rupiahs (which sounds like a lot, but it’s only $25) and my hunger to be and be around celebrities, Jen (our new BFF; she is Sami’s friend), Jess and I went to see Ketut, the healer who gained worldwide fame after he appeared on Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Eat, Pray, Love. We took a taxi to Ketut’s family compound. The Balenese family structure revolves around a single enclosed compound where members of the same clan live in separate houses; the compound also includes a meeting hall and temple. Ketut’s compound is quite nice, and we were even surprised to see a brand new TV that, as his son explained, was brought up there as an offering! We arrived early in the afternoon knowing that the wait to see him might be long. The waiting line was a mixture of eager tourists armed with their cameras and books ready to be signed as well as locals, who brought their modest offerings (fruit, flowers).

As a medicine man, Ketut accepts whatever payment a family can afford, but apparently this rule does not hold for foreigners. Ketut was sitting crossed legged on his porch, sporting a T-shirt with the words “COCKFIGHTING” on it, as well as a rather colorful and cartoonish pic of two cocks fighting. He posed for pics with five Japanese tourists who had just had their palms read. The girls were followed by a couple who brought their little boy, who was sick. Ketut touched the child and then proceeded to give the mother instructions to remedy the child’s ailment, while the mother diligently took down notes. The couple left with Ketut’s blessing and a plastic bag filled with what I think was holy water. Then it was our turn. We took our seats and were ready to show our hands, but Ketut was about to delay our fortune telling session a bit. From the back of his little makeshift shelf, he pulled out an old copy of Eat, Pray, Love. He pointed at the author’s pic and was happy when we told him we had all read the book. The next 15-20 min were spent with him looking for references of his own name throughout the book. “Right here,” Jen, pointed at one of the pages, but Ketut dismissed it, explaining that only references to his full name, “Ketut Lyier” were acceptable. So we played along and looked for his name until he got tired of doing so. I dare say that he quite enjoys his celebrity status. Next came the book signing, with both Jess and Jen handing over their copies of the book to be signed. Ketut turned around and looked for a pen amidst the dozens of pens held in a can, writing on his hand as he tested each of them. They all seemed to be out of ink. Upon this realization, Jen offered him her pen, but after giving it a try, Ketut turned down her offer and returned the pen. The ink was green, and apparently, green is not ok. Go figure. Finally, he signaled that he was ready for the palm reading session, as he took Jess’s hand.

Jess’s reading:

About her: smart, good karma, impatient, good smile and lips as sweet as sugar (the old man knows how to flatter a girl), very lucky

Life expectancy: 105 years Love: she will marry and then get divorce. However, Ketut instructed her “not to cry,” as her divorce would be followed by a happy second marriage Money: lots of money

Job: success Sex (oh, boy, Jacques had warned us about this): only do it twice a day, even if you could do it more

Past lives: this is Jess’s third go on this earth

Knee reading (yes, there was knee reading): no arthritis (to which Jess replied: “good”)

Vitals: good heart, good liver, good lungs

Jen’s reading:

About her: smart, good karma, very pretty, very lucky, strong art line

Life expectancy: like Jess, 105 years

Love: her first husband will cheat on her and either marry his lover or have an affair with a married women (we couldn’t really understand what he was saying), but “she shouldn’t cry,” because she will find and marry another husband

Money: lots of money

Job: success

Sex: also only do it no more than three times, otherwise her kid won’t be “100%,” whatever that means

Knee reading (yes, there was knee reading): no arthritis

Vitals: good heart, good liver, good lungs

Kelly’s reading

About her: smart, good karma, good smile, pretty

Life expectancy: 103 years, yes, two years less than the other girls

Love: very good husband

Money: lots of money (I did a little celebratory dance here)

Job: success

Sex: I was also forewarned that I should only do it twice a day (so “two” seems to be the magic number; otherwise my kid won’t be 100% Kids: 1 boys, 2 girls, for a total of 3 (I TOLDS you, Diesel!) Knee reading (yes, there was knee reading): no arthritis (thank goodness) Vitals: good heart, good liver, good lungs


4 Responses

  1. All of you over 100! Man that clown knows how to get paid!

  2. phew! I bet you were relieved that you won’t have no cheatin’ husband and bad divorce! Yikes!

    Oh, and can I borrow some money since you’re filthy stinkin’ rich apparently?!

  3. Maybe he means you’ll have lots of money when you’re 102 since you’re willing to bargain for 30 cents.

    Anyway, that woman in the white tank top is really cute. Tell her I could be her first husband just so she can get that out of the way. I’m cool with only having sex two or three times a day… 🙂

  4. haha s funny, ketut never told me anything about sex, but i remember i will live till 120 years old!!

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